Just Let Me -- G -- Indoctrinate You!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Dear America,

Oh I get it, keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

Splendid strategy.  I should have known all along.  Oh Obama, you had me fooled, I thought all this time you were just scared of making the wrong decision; but its not that at all, you are just plum scared.

Usually when running scared there is overcompensation to disguise the fright, so as to not give way to any hint of weakness or vulnerability.  But you sir, raised in Chicago, know this drill quite well.  You win through tactics of intimidation, carrying a big stick-- sticking it in places it doesn't belong, hitting the soft spots of your adversaries, and knowing just when to say when, eventually turning the game if not by pure talent but through the long and tiresome road to attrition.

Many battles are won on such odds of the last man standing.

And yet watching you, I must admit you carry this strategy to an art form; and not only for the causes we face front and center, but also in this ability of yours to just be everywhere, whether in campaign mode for the DNC, campaign mode at military installations, campaign mode in the Rose Garden with Doctors in white coats, and even campaign mode for upcoming elections -- even if at the risk of a potential rout or loss of reputation.

If I could make a suggestion, and don't mind if I do, aside from what happened in Copenhagen, quite honestly campaign mode isn't really working for you.  I mean, how many times can you pretty much say the same thing and not actually follow it up with some kind of action?

And I have to wonder, just how uncomfortable it must have been for you standing in front of all those men and women in uniform on Monday, while in Jacksonville.  I mean, how many ways can you basically say, 'it's not you, it's me' and get away with it, you know?  They are standing right there...awkward.

But there you are with the flag on the lapel flapping your mouth with the top ten reasons you must wait to make your decision, again, and somehow say so in front of the boys and girls who entrust you with their life --for their country no less -- and say it so convincingly that they truly believe you, again.

You do know that they know what is said in the papers, and more importantly what even their own generals have asked you for, right?  You do know that they know that it wasn't that long ago when you announced a plan -- that being the plan in March -- and the bold, swift direction you came to with the help of input from the previous administration, the assistance of Generals, and a firm commitment of the entire Defense Department.  You had all of us at anchor's away, you know.

Speaking for myself, we were all quite proud of the immediate attention thrown in the direction of tending to the Afghanistan War on Terror; it was kind of like that second day in office when you essentially closed Guantanamo Bay overnight -- well sort of, it's kinda closed, we can pretty much cross that off the list...right?

But in offering another suggestion, it may be to your best interests to lay low on future installations or the cracking of champagne over a bow, just until you decide a course of action.  One can't be too sure what kind of audience is waiting for you, we would hate to have them 'boo' or scream 'you lie' marching to the beat of a real general.  You understand, no?

Clearly, campaigning comes easy to you; and not at a moment too soon in some cases, as some of those governor races are pretty tight.  Well, one of them is pretty tight, the other is a blow out, but no sense counting the elephants before they hatch, right.  We all know how ACORN works a little bit of voodoo.

But what is it with you, anyway?  How do you do it?  What with everything you have on your plate...
things like convincing  particular insurance industry holdouts to bend over on Health Care, calling the Chamber of Commerce names for lack of support of what -- a couple of things, vilifying the FOX News organization for keeping it real, commending the honorable Floridian representative Alan Grayson in light of his calling your own Economic Advisor a "K street whore," all while sensing your friendship with China a tad more important than a meeting with the Dalai Lama -- choosing the economic loss of position vs a spiritual gain of unparalleled opportunity.

What you campaign for and when fascinates me to no end.

And of course my favorite question, who pays for that?  Just who pays for the trips to San Francisco for dinner and lunches in Florida -- along with fly-by's in New Orleans and stumping in New Jersey, no need to mention the Virginia trip --that's just a metro ride away -- but other than that, who buys?  Who pays for things like hopping over the pond to campaign in Copenhagen -- does the Chicago Olympic Committee reimburse us for that...does Oprah... or what?

Okay Okay, no need to get defensive, they're just questions, geeze.

Oh my, if we are seeing you do this kind of regiment campaigning within the first nine months, I can only imagine how many miles you would accumulate on the company card if only you qualified -- perhaps you would have given it all away to charity like you intend to do with the 1.4 million dollars (say it with the pinkie to the chin) from the Nobel Peace Prize Patrol.  You know, that is the one thing you didn't campaign for (at least you, yourself) and yet, you won! Go figure. 

Funny too, as this nomination came in just after two weeks in office -- you must have done something really special, do tell when you have a moment. Oh, that's right, it was bestowed upon you in anticipation of the potential peace you may bring unto the world; by comparison, wouldn't Miss America carry the same weight  as to any and all likelihood of that happening -- I mean, if anyone is all about bringing world peace, she'd be the one, no?

Of course, what with the saturation of the HOPE poster, along with the new presidential icon you plaster all over the place -- the big O with fields of grain and the American Eagle fading off into the sunset --  its a wonder you really have to campaign at all; you're like VISA®, accepted everywhere and often, which I guess is just the way you like it. 

It must feel so good to be you; you know, being the victor of the latest and greatest Obama Nation, the director of the  IMAX® Obama Rama theater, and while -- like you always say it's not always about you -- it certainly remains all about the O, oh you adorable man. Damn, life is good, ain't nothing but a gthang.

Until such time you have to make a decision, aw snap.

Then of course your thin skin will be hard pressed to come to terms with the answer most probable to please the masses while at the same instant not to offend a rogue dictator or two; and if all else fails, eventually beating us all off with a stick if we don't like what you decide.

Excellent strategy.
I give you three years,
eighteen months if you can't grow a little huevos rancheros in your pantalones.

Make it a Good Day, G

You know, Saddam Hussein had a poster.

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