Oh as the world turns, now just where are my bonbons?
Again, through the miracle of television, we get revision of the facts; we get flooded with lights, camera, action from all points of view -- except from the one that really matters; we get spellbound and entranced, watching the charades continue in disbelief, out of utter curiosity; and then bam, the unthinkable happpens, taking us all by surprise, never having seen it coming...or did we?
You know, a good soap does this to us over and over again; this would be highly entertaining right now, if these kinds of antics weren't tossed around on the world stage IN REALITY!
My favorite part yesterday -- and there were so many -- was at the tail end of his two-minute hail to me, the chief, speech (almost done with the same flare as a certain "mission accomplished" banner, but whatever) when he said, paraphrasing of course, 'before I leave you today, let's give a shout out and embarrass a couple of guys, who were key in making all my GM dreams come true...ah now don't be shy...come on now Ron (as in Bloom), and the other Ron...stand up and be proud Americans...'
The one who should be embarrassed -- for even just opening the door -- should be you, Mr. President.
What YOU really meant to say was thank you Rattner, as in Steve Rattner -- the one who just so happened to be paying millions, maybe billions before all is said and done, to the State of New York, the SEC, and anyone else who might come along to stake claim (kinda like China with it's shares of GM). Hand it over and nobody will get hurt -- except maybe a reputation or two, but who's cares about that, right?
You know, if it wasn't all so creepy -- I might be standing with Obama, too, on this lovely day after the largest IPO known to man; but I simply can't.
I just can't help but imagine what tricks he pulled, what cajoling, what arm twisting, what tactics using some combination of 'what part do you not understand' and 'really? seriously? like you have a choice' -- to make this great day for Government Motors happen? you know what I'm sayin?
I mean, for Rattner (and just love how the name fits into the storyline) to have been found guilty, on a variety of counts, profiting in the millions, based on his ability to master the dynamics of the kickback? THAT is a story made for T.V., doncha know. somebody pass me a mocha cream, stat.
(and don't think the timing isn't suspect to a little gerrymandering too ...brilliant...)
Ron Bloom, and his merry band of car czar wannabes, did squat, really. The deal was brokered, done, signed, sealed and call it delivered on the back of a semi-trailer, with the paper still on the windshield. All Ron had to do was get in it and drive -- and real fast, I might add.
I am just stunned that the president was able to get that line off with a straight face, that's all. That is work of a true genious; that deserves a daytime Emmy; that is surely one for the show and two for the money -- you know what I'm sayin?
Okay, so to sum it all up; everybody seems to have escaped this episode unscathed -- except perhaps, the Rattner, and those of us on the outside, those of us sitting home with melted chocolate on the fingertips and nowhere to go but hide, I mean, wait, wondering, will we ever learn? Is our happy ending in the next season of let the good times roll? What about me, we all say in unison from behind the curtain? What about the tax payer...who must sit back and watch the world happen around us, to us, without so much as a thank you? I didn't hear him say, thank you to US. Did you?
Did you hear an earnest plea to sit tight, our day is coming? Did you get any sense of security in when our vigs would appear out of thin air? Did you hear confidence in the free market system? Or through the miracle of TV, find a blind man behind the wheel giving us worn out assurances that His vision for America's future -- her "fundamental transformation" -- is coming to fruition, piece by piece, auto parts and widgets and all, oh my...
What we heard was ...and I'm paraphrasing again... 'we told them we would stand by them, if you do this, this, this and this....(blah blah blah)...new leadership, fresh thinking, and shared sacrifice...(blah blah blah) And they did. and it was good. and tomorrow, we may not be able to rest with ease, but we can sure rally around the shares today and be glad in it.'
While G's hemorrhaging on the nit picky and sugar overload -- along with the accompaniment of the debonair Dr. Killdare, looking aimlessly into space -- let us ponder in an awkward long pause just how the president fudged a wee bit on reality. Giving himself and GM the best light, he had the audacity to raise claim to have cut the government stake in GM (and I quote this time) "by nearly half." No, Mr. President, try more like 37% -- a fifth grader could tell you it is closer to one-third than one half, but again, details...you say Bloom, we say Rattner. Whatever.
So bring on the jammies to settle in for the long winter, the stock, while at about $34 (ooh that's almost 1/3rd) will have to rise to $52.00/share (ooh that's nearly one half) for us to see the light of day on this one; and with the way things are changing, with the way this world keeps turning, one life to live may not be enough to see this happen. details, shmeetails, Rattner and rat-tales, let's just hope the Bloom isn't off the rose, just yet.
At least we've got each other, what a box of bonbons and a warm blankie can do; in the meantime, we can live vicariously through the lives of made-up TV -- or even be really bad and watch the horrid display of the uncouth, naughty, or just plum one-ups-man-ship in reality shows -- or sit back and wait for the next press corps meeting.
In any case, it will be an event made for you and me. craving nuts and nougat now... reality just bites sometimes, doesn't it. doesn't it?
Make it a Good Day, G
can we count the number of czars taken off the air for unscrupulous, unspeakable, un-American acts...that should keep us amused for awhile.