Just Let Me -- G -- Indoctrinate You!

Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Dear America,



WHITE, STRAIGHT,
REPUBLICAN, MALE.
how else can I piss you off today?

two for two.  yes I did -- I'm on a fender bender. just because it cracks me up.

and you know who fits this today, for real?  retired Governator of Caleeforneeyah; how many ways of wrong can this man go?  Honestly.  Not to mention, how on God's great earth did it take Maria so long?

And don't you just love the idea that when it comes to life, especially in politics, everything eventually becomes known; secrets last about fifteen minutes.

But continuing along the same vein of white, straight, republican males -- because the subject is so topical these days -- this girl is loving how the contest is shaping up.  If for no other reason, the amusement factor seems to be carrying me; anticipation probably coming in a close second.

It's not so much the hysterics back behind those who come out announcing 'I'm in' and when and taking a painful amount of time just to spit it out (giving a respectable nod to Ron Paul) -- or even the sudden, 'I'm out...even though I could have won' guy (showing the disrespectful middle finger to Donald Trump).  Those are the things begging to be irrelevant when all things are said and done.

It's more like the battle hymn of the new republic being played out under the guise of the mainstream liberal media --  the juxtaposing the remaining field up against their Savior -- the extended critical eye hanging over the field of contenders, as if they really care -- the 'oh no, not Huckabee; he really had something going on there..that's gotta hurt'  --  and basically, making a continuous mockery and laughing stock of anyone who would dare step up to the challenge OR, falling back on yesterday's theme, simply calling them all 'racist' at every chance they get.... 

and the first one that comes to mind:

"First of all, you gave a speech in Georgia with language a lot of people think could be coded racially-tinged language, calling the president, the first black president, a food stamp president," just throwing it out for kicks and giggles, David Gregory, of NBC's Meet the Press.
"oh c'mon David," said Newt

"what did you mean? what was the point?" as Gregory digs a couple of nails in further...

"That's, that's bizarre. That--this kind of automatic reference to racism, this is the president of the United States. The president of the United States has to be held accountable. Now, the idea that--and what I said is factually true. Forty-seven million Americans are on food stamps. One out of every six Americans is on food stamps. And to hide behind the charge of racism? I have--I have never said anything about President Obama which is racist."

"Never," he said -- as Gregory responds with a gesture..making a big fat W with his hands...what ever...

and really, what Newt said is all true, as sad and unbelievable as it sounds; the use of Food Stamps has increased by nearly 20% over the last year alone. It is about the highest it's ever been in almost thirty years.  Go ahead....just punch in food stamps into your browser and see what happens.

So what, can we not talk about food stamps, government subsidies to needy families, welfare and the like with a president who happens to be black?  really?  how reverse racist and perverse is that?  Do we not all want a president to be able to address and speak and answer to the very things our nation and our people struggle with on a daily basis, no matter what the color of his/her skin?  doesn't Gregory find the reality of one in six Americans living on food stamps, having increased exponentially under Obama's watch, a concern?

Oh that's right: it's the 'white, straight, republican male' syndrome at it again.  Gosh, this is going to be a fun election cycle.

Now, if we are going to be honest here...Newt is following in the Governator's footsteps all too easily.  Please, Newt, bow out right now before somebody gets hurt.  We, the constituency, care more for Paul Ryan than we do for you, just sayin'; throwing him under the proverbial campaign bus was so wrong -- equating the Ryan plan to some form of extremism?  seriously?  ...ho hum, just another radical, right wing, social engineering scheme that won't work -- left or right -- these plans don't work...or something like that...(appearing in costume as the wise old ghost of budget's past)

But hey, let's not get in the way of Ryan's own response: "with allies like that who needs the left?" 

ha ha ha ha  (this is where we pal around and burst into laughter, like the bunch of guys on the new Weight Watcher's ad for men)

Hey Newt, don't let the door hit you on your way out.

Anyway, the thing is -- our media is having  a field day with second guessing, drop kicking, crash and burning, every potential candidate coming on down the pike.  They have been waiting for this -- open season -- for quite some time now.

For myself, I am enjoying the slow burn of who's in and who's not; for in the end, I KNOW, along with half of the American population, anyone who finally meets up with the challenges, gets over the hurdles, and manages to outperform the mainstream media long enough, will ultimately be the best future presidential candidate for the job; and more than that, they will become 'the one'; the one who has all the right stuff, so that all the rest of us can rally behind, and fully support, with all our heart, and with all our might.

As marvelous as the man is, Huckabee isn't really what we want, now is he?  And he felt it; and he responded to it appropriately when he said it just wasn't in his heart.  Mara Liasson was funny; on Special Report yesterday, she considers Huck bowing out to be a loss for the party (ah hello, little miss NPR liasson, it's a non-starter, move along now).

While as the world turns, it turns out that Ryan has decided not to run for the seat in the Senate;  where is the media on this one, you know, projecting the guy wants a run for what Newt wants?  Now that would be fun to watch.  Run Ryan Run!

In the meantime, if you happen to be a 'white, straight, republican, male' duck and cover -- or plan on having the race bombs, the cheap shots, the low blows, the punch lines right at the gut for.... oooh... for about another eighteen months or so, give or take your own move to jump in or jump out....and we do the hokey pokey and we turn ourselves around, that's what it's all about, clap clap.

Of course, something to think about is a race pitting Herman Cain against the Chosen One.  Back in Black -- mono y mono -- that would shut the media up.  No.  How about we genetically engineer our next dynamic duo to be Herman Cain and Marco Rubio?   

You wanna piece of me?  You wanna piece of me?

You wanna call me some bug-eyed, dumb@$$, ignorant, bigoted, astroturf, nazi, extremist, tea party right wing radical, racist now?  Bring it.  Let's hope it all gets on tape so we can play it over and over and over again.

So Media-BUYER BEWARE:  Clearly, it is open season on right wing dodobirds according to all Media Research Outlets.  Things to look out for -- for easy pickings -- being WHITE, straight, republican and male; however, about half are known to be of the female persuasion, from either creation or evolution, and are equally protected under the new landmark authority expressly given to Mother Earth by the U.N.-- see also the latest 'endangered' listings -- so consider yourself forewarned (they get awfully nasty when teased, poked, and prodded).

While not so uncommon anymore and worth noting, many are not white at all -- some are half white, half black -- some are brown -- some are very light brown with just a hint of black -- and some are solid black through and through.  And one thing to consider may be to stay away from the Albino, all I can say is, they are sort of different if you know what I mean, dare I say, they're kind of on the fringe. something to look out for. but the good news is, we can normally see them coming from a mile away.

You should also be aware, Right Wing Dodobirds normally do not associate by color alone -- many, actually, are color blind; don't be surprised if you find a gathering of various birds of a feather.  What is important, is not so much the color of the feather, but the content of the character found deep down inside, especially in times that try avian souls.  Naturally, they gravitate together, like birds of a certain feather, seeking the like-minded -- seeking others aligned with founding principles and values -- seeking those fully accepting of their inherent duty and delight to participate with a certain level of responsibility to the whole bunch of birds...

Yes.  I could hurt you some more and just keep right on winging it; but let's just say I woke up on the right side of the bed featuring a deep seated compassion for mankind, especially those I venture to entertain.  I will stop myself right here.

As the narrative moves in and around the political birdcage, let us be enlightened, encourage open dialog, and treat each other with respect.  Will this be nearly impossible for the biased left wing media to pull off?  Will it be amusing to watch?  you betcha. and you betcha. it's gonna be fun.


Make it a Good Day, G

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Dear America,

TWITTER FEED WEDNESDAY:

"regrettably the time has come 4 Pres Mubarak 2 step down relinquish power" 
So, I am going to get right to 'the thing' today...

anytime we "tweet" foreign relations and policy advise, we look like idiots when it comes from someone so high up on the political food chain, like John McCain; I mean, we might as well have had Megan immediately follow up with, 'yeah, like, now's the time, Mubarak is soooo out of here.'


and don't even get me started on the abbreviations...seriously? are we in sixth grade civics?

and if all that wasn't bad enough, he had a sit down with Obama? did you tell him his health care legislation really sucks and his mama wears army boots?  (that last part is just something I remember from when I was twelve...there is no other deeper meaning than that, seriously, it's just that stupid).

I love the comment made by Dick Morris last night, comparing something Colin Powell had once said in relation to Iraq: "you break it, you buy it..." -- and quickly spun it around addressing Obama's new start treaty made expressly for Egypt...repeating, "you break it, you buy it."

And if we were all wondering what in the world Israel was thinking...now we know that too; a resounding WTF America? is chiming out of the airwaves there...yeah, I think it was tweeted by somebody in the ministry of foreign affairs...no, no, I'm sorry, it was a real live conversation:
"I don't think the Americans understand yet the disaster they have pushed the Middle East into," said lawmaker Binyamin Ben-Eliezer, who until recently was a Cabinet minister and who is a longtime friend of Mubarak.
"If there are elections like the Americans want, I wouldn't be surprised if the Muslim Brotherhood didn't win a majority, it would win half of the seats in parliament," he told Army Radio. "It will be a new Middle East, extremist radical Islam." within the article linked above, written by Amy Teibel of the Associated Press
while silly Americans are just going to market, getting ready for bean dip and nachos and pizza in less than 72 hours, without a care in the world -- no, scratch that, we care, it's just that this crazy town activity isn't anywhere close to our back yard...it doesn't affect the outcome of the big game... doesn't really have anything to do with you or me, right?... they can work it out... "the youth" have staying power and will prevail... trading a Mubarak for an ElBaradei, what does it really matter in the great scheme of life?

Wrong again.

But yesterday said it all:  apparently, we now live in a world where it is totally cool to tweet major, hyper-sensitive, international relations recommendations -- a.k.a. unwarranted and ill advised advice -- from a political has-been with a penchant for attention -- and nobody thinks anything of it.

This week has accidental tourist written all over it, between how we began the week focusing on the horrors of Super Bowl entertainment, and an advertising campaign built around the idea, "I'm not buying it" -- to later, questioning the authenticity of the Egyptian sit down and America's involvement, thinking to myself, I'm sure not buying that... -- to today, recognizing the latest 21st century truism, what we 'break-ah you buy-ah' (may I recommend a Turkish accent on the fly) no matter how costly or where we are around the globe.

I should be tweeting, 'it's a stunning turn of events for this little American girl.'of course, adding a frown-y face at the tail end :(

The worst part is, we haven't even entered into the worst part.

And now, given the side of the bed President Obama has chosen to lay, spinning this in America's favor, or simply desperately trying not to say another word for fear it may make things worse, will be all the more more difficult.  The stage has been set; the hyper-ganda extravaganza has already begun; we have already meddled too much; we have made our bed; we are responsible for breaking Egypt and Israel relations, by rolling over on top of them both in one fell swoop --

how did we get here?  did someone slip us a roofie?  what were we thinking?

Our president has now made a situation; he will have to choose between standing up for Israel and our rich history of Judeo-Christian relations, deeply and defiantly defending the homeland for a vast majority of the world -- and the very birthplace of America's soul,OR

he will choose a certain and specific Islamic state -- and not the peaceful kind (as we would be kidding ourselves if a certain Egyptian democracy could  rise all of a sudden from this rubble like a Phoenix).

for me, on this "happy thursday" (yeah right) -- I am finding myself unable to breathe.

perhaps we should just Twitter and Facebook out to all our friends to meet up on the White House lawn... asking for a sit down and then a step down -- and maybe not in that order -- this might be the only way to go, in order to command a certain respect that, already, our president seems akin to understanding -- some would say he is almost advocating, right?  -- hey, it's just us "youth" out here, demanding our rights of universal humanity and best interests to be heard...can you can dig it? yo, Mr. President?

Between the absurdity of signing off on an UNLAWFUL and UNCONSTITUTIONAL health care law -- a sorry piece of legislation that already has more organizations and states opting out than those supporting it, waiving any and all agreements to abide by it, making it null and void for a few, leaving whoever shall be left to pay for it, while magically manipulating Medicare monies to cover 500 billion of it's costs, of which, will never see the light of day -- 70% of the people, 27 states, 729 waivers later -- how about we tweet this all together now shall we: "we'r not buy'n it mr. prez -- give it up 2day"  For more good tweets, go to The Morning Bell's feature this morning from The Heritage Foundation...I love, love, love these guys.

Oh how I wish the main man was a conservative -- he's cute, funny, and who can say no to him really?  I cannot tell you how much I wish I admired his taste in politics, ideology, and his whole social justice thing going on; I wish I could love more than just his pretty face, truly I do...and you can blame his wife, Michelle, for the fixation on his looks this morning...remember when she told us all not to vote for somebody just because "she's cute" -- I mean, my gosh, compare ObamaBabe to G's first hit of the day, M'key dodo bird; hands down, no contest.

But seriously, this guy can't get out fast enough if you ask me, and I hear you, loud and clear, nobody is...

Hanging on the way things are said and done these days, let's just leave it at the realization that the world is in for a world of hurt -- and coming to a theater near you shortly -- stay tuned to your Twitter/Facebook page '2 find out whr u shud run hide 4ever'...Australia's looking pretty good...except for a little water damage...at least everybody has their own accidental moat...as the glass is always half full in G's world (and regularly, it's red wine).

In the meantime, may I suggest loading up on not only the potato skins this weekend, but also a few things you might really need one day soon...you know, things like water, canned goods, flashlights, batteries, blankets, gas masks...just a little humorous advice from someone we like to call Uncle Ted xx

and hey now :) happy happy thursday 2 all and 2 all a

G'Day, G

guess who's playing on Dear America?
yup.
give it up 4 Adele, one more time rahhhhhhhhhhh
enjoy.

...now don't look so surprised
...I told you what to expect
...all week I forewarned
...and if you are adept at reading in-between the lines, all the better, yo?